Today is Free Scoop Day at Ben and Jerry’s. Nationwide.
You're Welcome.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Define the Relationship
The (G)DTR is more complicated than the standard DTR because now in addition to trying to understand your boyfriend's needs you've brought the Creator of the universe into the mix. Now in addition to saying you don't like that he is playing so much Grand Theft Auto 4 (came out today, that was wicked topical of me to mention it by the way) you have to factor in what Yahweh wants in the relationship. That's why I have created this handy guide. It translates the things you most often hear in a (G)DTR and tells you what is really being said. Enjoy:
1. They say: "I need to unpack some things and reassess my boundaries."
They mean: "I've secretly gone to counseling and learned some new words that are going to make your head hurt. I'm breaking up with you."
2. They say: "I feel that I need to spend more time with God."
They mean: "I feel that I need to spend more time with God and less time with you. I'm breaking up with you."
3. They say: "I think God is calling me into missions."
They mean: "The first place God wants me to visit is a land called 'somwhere you are not.' I'm leaving tonight. I'm breaking up with you."
4. They say: "I think God has gifted me with a life of celibacy."
They mean: "I've just dropped the equivalent of a dating atomic bomb. Good luck with all that. I'm breaking up with you."
5. They say: "I feel like we've grown apart."
They mean: "I represent the word 'grown,' you represent, 'apart,' as in your falling apart. I'm breaking up with you."
1. They say: "I need to unpack some things and reassess my boundaries."
They mean: "I've secretly gone to counseling and learned some new words that are going to make your head hurt. I'm breaking up with you."
2. They say: "I feel that I need to spend more time with God."
They mean: "I feel that I need to spend more time with God and less time with you. I'm breaking up with you."
3. They say: "I think God is calling me into missions."
They mean: "The first place God wants me to visit is a land called 'somwhere you are not.' I'm leaving tonight. I'm breaking up with you."
4. They say: "I think God has gifted me with a life of celibacy."
They mean: "I've just dropped the equivalent of a dating atomic bomb. Good luck with all that. I'm breaking up with you."
5. They say: "I feel like we've grown apart."
They mean: "I represent the word 'grown,' you represent, 'apart,' as in your falling apart. I'm breaking up with you."
Monday, April 28, 2008
wanna know
think you might be called to middle school ministry? answer this...
does this picture make you want to:
a.) LOL
b.) pray for time to skip 3 years with your kids
c.) enforce stricter guardian/chaperone laws at stores
d.) want to read a different blog
in 48 hours
we will attempt to break a world record
we will finish our "call to greatness," series at ReMix
jesus will be preached to middle school students who have never heard about Him before
we will be close to filling ALL our spots for camp...with 2 months until we go
i will read my 20th book of the year
the answers to when and how will be learned
you could be the catalyst to change your world
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Right Now
Right now...
- There are 1000 upcoming 6th graders from Creekland Middle School sitting in our Worship Experience Center for school orientation. (Creekland was just named #1 largest Middle School in GA, and #4 largest in the United States) It's 2 miles from our church.
- I am wondering if falling out of a moving golf cart will dibilitate me for life. But it will make a scweet camp promo video.
- I am missing my team's first basketball game of the season.
- I am working on my 60th work hour of the week. It's been a good one.
- I have successfuly taught my first Next Generation team leadership lesson. Totally freaked me out, but went great!
- I am on my way to finally get some good food before tonight's office!!
- I am tired of writing this blog post.
- There are 1000 upcoming 6th graders from Creekland Middle School sitting in our Worship Experience Center for school orientation. (Creekland was just named #1 largest Middle School in GA, and #4 largest in the United States) It's 2 miles from our church.
- I am wondering if falling out of a moving golf cart will dibilitate me for life. But it will make a scweet camp promo video.
- I am missing my team's first basketball game of the season.
- I am working on my 60th work hour of the week. It's been a good one.
- I have successfuly taught my first Next Generation team leadership lesson. Totally freaked me out, but went great!
- I am on my way to finally get some good food before tonight's office!!
- I am tired of writing this blog post.
Really?
What type of Christianity am I modeling to my students? What world view are they adopting? How do I hope they live out their faith in the real world? I've been asking this about all of the different kinds of students who come to the middle school ministry here at 12stone Church.
If you've ever asked some of those questions yourself, Lord, Save Us From Your Followers is worth reading. It's a short, easy, read ( I read it in one sitting ) filled with humor, interviews and some really valid reasoning. I doubt you'll agree with everything Merchant proposes, but if you want to be a more compassionate Christ follower and desire to be engaged in culture in a more proactive but gentle way, this book will inspire you.
what i'm learning right now
that all evil comes from pride...even insecurity.
so, humility is the call on my life by Jesus
the series we are in right now called, "call to greatness: record breakers and underdogs," is THE BEST one we have done. ever.
i really love my kids. they surprise me every week.
life is short for everyone, what we do in the now matters.
wisdom comes from getting beat down.
so, humility is the call on my life by Jesus
the series we are in right now called, "call to greatness: record breakers and underdogs," is THE BEST one we have done. ever.
i really love my kids. they surprise me every week.
life is short for everyone, what we do in the now matters.
wisdom comes from getting beat down.
Monday, April 21, 2008
hmmm
found this interesting. also- it is interesting to note that Rob Bell never makes a direct reference to Jewish culture in this statement.
“If you are a follower of Jesus, a middle eastern man living in an occupied country who was crucified by the global military superpower of his day, and the leader of the global military superpower of your day, in celebrating victory and occupation of a middle eastern country, quotes hymns in the military victory speech about Jesus, if you are a Christian, this should make you nervous.
The Bible is a story of people living on the underside of military super powers.
The Bible comes to us from a small minority of peoples, who are conquered peoples.
So when you read this story, and you read this book, as a citizen of the most powerful empire this world has ever seen, you may miss some of it’s central ideas.
Because when it says some trust in chariots but we trust in God and you have 42.8 percent of the worlds weapons, You’re the one with the chariots.
My interest is in how we understand the story of the scriptures, and in some way separate the cross and the flag, just long enough to make sure that we haven’t bought into somethings that are the very type of things that Jesus came to set us free from.
- Rob Bell
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Sadness
A good buddy of mine just passed these stats along to me which served as a reminder of who the real victims are when no dad is present.
63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes--U.S. D.H.H.S., Bureau of the Census
85% of all children that exhibit behavioral disorders come from fatherless homes--Center for Disease Control
80% of rapists motivated with displaced anger come from fatherless homes--Criminal Justice and Behavior, Vol. 14, p. 403-26
71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes--National Principals Association Report on the State of High Schools
70% of juveniles in state operated institutions come from fatherless homes--U.S. Dept. of Justice
85% of all youths sitting in prisons grew up in a fatherless home--Fulton County Georgia jail populations & Texas Dept. of Corrections
Translated, this means that children from a fatherless home are:
5 times more likely to commit suicide
32 times more likely to run away
20 times more likely to have behavioral disorders
14 times more likely to commit rape
9 times more likely to drop out of school
10 times more likely to abuse chemical substances
9 times more likely to end up in a state operated institution
20 times more likely to end up in prison
63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes--U.S. D.H.H.S., Bureau of the Census
85% of all children that exhibit behavioral disorders come from fatherless homes--Center for Disease Control
80% of rapists motivated with displaced anger come from fatherless homes--Criminal Justice and Behavior, Vol. 14, p. 403-26
71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes--National Principals Association Report on the State of High Schools
70% of juveniles in state operated institutions come from fatherless homes--U.S. Dept. of Justice
85% of all youths sitting in prisons grew up in a fatherless home--Fulton County Georgia jail populations & Texas Dept. of Corrections
Translated, this means that children from a fatherless home are:
5 times more likely to commit suicide
32 times more likely to run away
20 times more likely to have behavioral disorders
14 times more likely to commit rape
9 times more likely to drop out of school
10 times more likely to abuse chemical substances
9 times more likely to end up in a state operated institution
20 times more likely to end up in prison
Sunday Stuff
Great Crowd today, still meeting all our new folks who seem to come in more and more every week.
Pep Rally at Creekland last monday is still being talked about around here...what favor huh?
Finished 3rd in a golf tournament this weekend. Way cool.
Our basketball team is absolutely terrible. I am ashamed to post our record, but you get the idea.
Lunch with John Maxwell last Thursday- to all you haters out there, you need to get to know this guy before you hate on him.
Excited about a "normal" week this week.
9 days until the "World's Biggest Tickle Fight!!!" - Let's hope we break the record AND no one is violated. hahahha
Pep Rally at Creekland last monday is still being talked about around here...what favor huh?
Finished 3rd in a golf tournament this weekend. Way cool.
Our basketball team is absolutely terrible. I am ashamed to post our record, but you get the idea.
Lunch with John Maxwell last Thursday- to all you haters out there, you need to get to know this guy before you hate on him.
Excited about a "normal" week this week.
9 days until the "World's Biggest Tickle Fight!!!" - Let's hope we break the record AND no one is violated. hahahha
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Highlights from Augusta
- being frozen stiff when Tiger Woods walked 2 feet from me
- trying to remember that it's grass, so much green grass, not carpet
- watching ian poulter, a guy who had made a hole in one on thursday, throw a temper tantrum on the 7th hole
- not bringing chap stick...big mistake
- yelling at, no screaming at david feherty and seeing him wave back
- walking up the 17th hole with Elin Woods and her dad
- getting a laugh out of steve williams, tiger's caddie
- having an amazing day with my best buddy jason
- trying to remember that it's grass, so much green grass, not carpet
- watching ian poulter, a guy who had made a hole in one on thursday, throw a temper tantrum on the 7th hole
- not bringing chap stick...big mistake
- yelling at, no screaming at david feherty and seeing him wave back
- walking up the 17th hole with Elin Woods and her dad
- getting a laugh out of steve williams, tiger's caddie
- having an amazing day with my best buddy jason
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Excitation
Really excited: going to Augusta tomorrow for the final round of the Masters. I don't really know how I got the tickets...no, i don't think i can get any more. That is the question that I have been answering all week long.
Also- tomorrow will be the first day off for me since I started my job here at 12stone on March 14, 2007. It's been a good run, but I feel like this just might be one worth missing.
I'll update with sneak camera pics and highlights from the day tomorrow night.
peace out.
go tiger.
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Top 5
Ways to Kill a MS worship service
1. Use long and dramatic prayers. Prolonged use of the “prayer voice” or recapping the entire talk in the final prayer is a great way to drive away students checking out your ministry. Prayer is all about talking to God - not impressing core students or an onlooking parent.
2. Don’t even attempt any humor. Hey, I still watch Saturday Night Live and most of their stuff isn’t funny - but at least they’re trying. Students are quick to forgive humor that bombs over a service that is stiff and unemotional. Use humor as a way to open eyes and hearts to God’s truth.
3. Use as much insider language as possible. Alienate people. Find ways to talk about “them” and “us.” Always talk about church like a club that you have to get in to. Talk down about people outside the church and how they fail to live up to your standards.
4. Don’t allow crowd dynamics. When you ask a question to the audience, the room should get out of control. Be OK with that - some of the best humor and awkwardness can appear during an improv time. Interaction is key to this generation, it would be a shame to be a talking head for 45 minutes with a few songs at the end.
5. Never use students on stage. Everything will be better quality if run by adults. You will also turn away students. Every student is asking, “is there anyone like me in this room” and if they see students on stage for a testimony, on stage playing in a band, doing a skit or welcoming them and connecting them with someone from their school, there’s a good chance they’ll stick
1. Use long and dramatic prayers. Prolonged use of the “prayer voice” or recapping the entire talk in the final prayer is a great way to drive away students checking out your ministry. Prayer is all about talking to God - not impressing core students or an onlooking parent.
2. Don’t even attempt any humor. Hey, I still watch Saturday Night Live and most of their stuff isn’t funny - but at least they’re trying. Students are quick to forgive humor that bombs over a service that is stiff and unemotional. Use humor as a way to open eyes and hearts to God’s truth.
3. Use as much insider language as possible. Alienate people. Find ways to talk about “them” and “us.” Always talk about church like a club that you have to get in to. Talk down about people outside the church and how they fail to live up to your standards.
4. Don’t allow crowd dynamics. When you ask a question to the audience, the room should get out of control. Be OK with that - some of the best humor and awkwardness can appear during an improv time. Interaction is key to this generation, it would be a shame to be a talking head for 45 minutes with a few songs at the end.
5. Never use students on stage. Everything will be better quality if run by adults. You will also turn away students. Every student is asking, “is there anyone like me in this room” and if they see students on stage for a testimony, on stage playing in a band, doing a skit or welcoming them and connecting them with someone from their school, there’s a good chance they’ll stick
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Lately
If you've noticed a despairity in the amount of blog posts lately then it is directly related to the amount of physical activity that i've been doing over the past month. here's a quick rundown...
- 2 basketball games a week
- 3 mornings a week working in the gym
- running in the eveningsk and on fridays
* is it any wonder that my toes look the way they do?
- 2 basketball games a week
- 3 mornings a week working in the gym
- running in the eveningsk and on fridays
* is it any wonder that my toes look the way they do?
Monday, April 7, 2008
unashamed
this is a blatant and hopefully clear advertisement for perhaps the funniest thing i have read in a long time. jason sent me a link to this blog this morning, and i must say that
http://stuffchristianslike.blogspot.com
drips with sarchasm, irony, and enough tongue in cheek humor to give you a cold sore.
so there you go..go check it out right now and be prepared to take a good long look in the mirror and see yourself there with a slight smirk on your face.
http://stuffchristianslike.blogspot.com
drips with sarchasm, irony, and enough tongue in cheek humor to give you a cold sore.
so there you go..go check it out right now and be prepared to take a good long look in the mirror and see yourself there with a slight smirk on your face.
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Thurs. Early AM
Last night we started a new series... CALL TO GREATNESS. It's all about heroes who are underdogs and the odds that they overcome to be great.
1.) David and Goliath
2.) 1st Missionary
3.) Peter walks on Water
4.) Jesus and the resurrection.
Great first night of a series.
Worship: WAY above average
Message: Good
Volunteer Involvement: Average
Student Involvement: Above Average
Student Response: Good
Series: Call to Greatness, week 1, "What Giants?"
1.) David and Goliath
2.) 1st Missionary
3.) Peter walks on Water
4.) Jesus and the resurrection.
Great first night of a series.
Worship: WAY above average
Message: Good
Volunteer Involvement: Average
Student Involvement: Above Average
Student Response: Good
Series: Call to Greatness, week 1, "What Giants?"
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